Boganomics

17

Bogan marketing 101

Editorial note Yes, they’re back. The Bogamonics team. We’ve missed them. Today’s post is an excerpt from their forthcoming book, the great Australian novel, Boganomics. Indeed that’s where our high priests of the mortgage belt have been, penning their masterpiece. I’m sure it was not entirely coincidental that when Boganomics departed in June, MB suffered it’s

10

The Sensational Foster’s Buyout!

In an odd juxtaposition, the bogan, while poorly informed on almost all matters, will still have an opinion on most things, and is actually a relatively voracious consumer of media. The media have long known the enticing power of the bogan buck, and once their websites gave them the power to monetise bogan clicks, and

51

A Ford ability crisis

Henry Ford was born on the outskirts of Rockhampton in 1922. In 1925, he established Ford Australia, and subsequently travelled back in time to found the Ford Motor Company in the USA sometime prior. The upshot of all this, is that the bogan knows there is no car company more Australian than Ford, because Holden

33

Uncle specufestor, a success story

Rightly, the bogan hates being told what to do, hates having its movements restricted, and hates feeling obliged to anyone. This is an important reason why it loves purchasing investment properties; so it can tell someone else what to do, restrict their movements, and have someone feel obliged to them. This free-thinking, independent creature is

29

Boganomics upsets The Australian

There’s nothing quite like the pleasure of being misquoted in the national broadsheet. That’s the experience of the Boganomics team today with The Australian selectively quoting from Friday’s runaway success story, CateGate, which was picked up by the Fairfax press. The Australian’s Cut and Paste section ran a series of excerpts today under the headline: Friends,

158

Categate

The question of climate change has long been a vexed one for the bogan. During the mid-00s, when the weight of public opinion began swinging behind the scientific consensus, and the need to take action about it, the polling suggested that the bogan jumped on board. Far be it for the bogan to stand out

20

Suck and blow

Off the bat; if you don’t want to smoke, be our guest. You have every right to deny yourself the abundant pleasure. One of our number is known to do so. He does so in the full knowledge that robbing himself of the pleasure is a poor trade-off against a premature, hideous death. The bogan,

26

Full moon parity

The Australian dollar is the only currency that the bogan believes in. It’s the currency that last year’s designer drug can be purchased in, it’s the currency that Centrelink can be defrauded in, and it’s the currency that can be acquired in wholesale volumes when one goes to work in the mines. While Australia’s economy

20

Cut your debt, fool!

Wayne Swan spent a great deal of time reminding the nation of just how tough this year’s budget was going to be. While this is hardly a new strategy for federal treasurers, this year, the bogan had a creeping sense of unease; folk in their ivory towers were whispering about cuts to middle-class welfare. Really,

38

Charlene trashes the tardis

The bogan is a voracious consumer of media. It will, on any given day, access any or all of a variety of newspapers and news sites ranging from the Herald Sun to the Daily Telegraph and occasionally the Courier Mail. On the days it’s feeling like pretending it knows something about economics or politics, it

26

My baby, Zara

The Australian retail climate isn’t particularly strong at the moment, because bogans are Doing It Tough. Confronted with historically low interest rates, a strong dollar, a resilient economy and low unemployment, the bogan knows that it has to cut back on some things in order to get by. Its newfound love of online retail and Australian

29

UnAustralian!

The phrase UnAustralian has long resonated deeply with the bogan. The bogan knows that it is Australian; indeed, the best kind of Australian. Anyone who disagrees with things the bogan likes is therefore not Australian. QED. However, something has occurred this week that gives us pause, as we consider the possible death of one of

10

Cyrano de Boganac

During the week, Woolworths announced that its CEO, Michael Luscombe, was stepping down in favour of some fresh blood in Grant O’Brien. The local media, desperate to get into a flurry over something other than Kevin Rudd telling the country what it already knew, began flailing wildly for an angle, settling on one of two

24

Boganomics: Negative hearing

Boganomics, along with its sister project Things Bogans Like, performs a crucial role in Australian society. While bogans may tell you that they want to bed you or glass you, they also have many other wants and needs that they are less adept at articulating. As the bogan’s unofficial mouthpiece, we simply must take exception to

12

Fosters takes the piss

While the bogan has spent the past few years variously coveting foreign-looking domestically produced beer, Mexican beer, and low-carb beer, what has remained constant is that the bogan has continued to enjoy getting the more traditional Australian beers on the cheap. With this in mind, the bogan has been incensed by the revelation this week

29

Boganomics: Online gear shift

It used to be so easy. In recent decades, controlling the bogan’s retail habits was as simple as spending a few million dollars on an advertising campaign on commercial television, and inviting television cameras to film other bogans trying to kick the front door of the shop in at 5am on Boxing Day. Even the

32

Friday Boganomics: Jump in my carbon

The announcement this week by the Federal Government of a fixed carbon price to be set next year, followed by an ETS has been met with the predictable ill-informed back-and-forth that we’ve come to expect from any major policy announcement, whether or not any actual information has been imparted. No doubt, the news has sparked

32

The Bogan is Doing it Tough

Australia is Doing it Tough. At least this is what we are led to believe, courtesy of a chorus of political and business leaders who lean on this phrase any time they wish to be seen to understand the traumas that Australians, bogan and non-bogan alike, face on a daily basis. We are constantly told