Welcome to Melbourne: Capital of Great Southern Canton

Via the ABC:

British Prime Minister Theresa May has fired her defence secretary, Gavin Williamson, saying an investigation suggested he was to blame for leaking discussions about Chinese telecoms company Huawei from her National Security Council.

An investigation was launched last week after the Daily Telegraph first reported that the security council, which meets in private, had agreed to let Huawei participate in some aspects of Britain’s new 5G wireless communications network.

The government insists no decision has been made about that.

The dramatic arrest in Canada of Huawei’s chief financial officer for possible extradition to the US shocked many. But what exactly is Huawei and why does it seem like it’s continually being targeted by foreign governments?

Downing St said Ms May has “lost confidence” in Mr Williamson.

Mr Williamson has denied he had any role in the leak of information regarding Huawei.

“I am confident that a thorough and formal inquiry would have vindicated my position,” Mr Williamson wrote in a letter to Ms May, which he published on Twitter.

Ms May wrote to Mr Williamson in a letter that there is “compelling evidence suggesting your responsibility for the unauthorised disclosure.”

“No other, credible version of events to explain this leak has been identified,” the letter read.

Penny Mordaunt, former minister for international development, has now been named as defence secretary in place of Mr Williamson.

Talk about prescient. Fast forward a decade when defence minister Andrew Hastie or Richard Marles is rolled by Cabinet on a proposal to fully integrate the Melbourne Port with Chinese state owned enterprises (SOE). Either one is forced by patriotic obligation to leak the divisive decision to the press and is fired for it.

A year later, China’s new aircraft carrier, its twelfth, sails in for a friendly visit to the Melbourne port to sign up a swag of new Belt and Road contracts. Plush Chinese helicopters fly Aussie VIPs and celebrities to an uber-exclusive party on the decks for the lavish ceremony. Entertainment includes a five per side mini-AFL match played right across the Shenyang catapult. The Chinese sailors cheer and gasp as the physical prowess of the pale barbarians.

The centerpiece deal is the purchase by the Victorian Government of new Huatei technology, a recently privatised SOE. The Huatei facial recognition system is to be rolled out across Melbourne for the surveillance  of, and early intervention against, “anti-immigration right wing extremists”.

It’s for “the good of the people” announces Manchurian Dan in the state-owned New Age newspaper.

The AFL approves wholeheartedly.

Latest posts by David Llewellyn-Smith (see all)


  1. Jeez, it’s one thing taking potshots at both sides of politics and our revered institutions, but if you take on the AFL your days are numbered.

      • GunnamattaMEMBER

        The AFL will step in to ban booing, and may even enforce clapping if the Chinese force them to play a night Grand Final. And by that stage each team will be half male and half female, but only those who have graduated from elite private schools will be eligible for drafting (so as to weed out unfortunate sentiments and social media posts)

      • …compulsory training of cheersquads to sing “Even My Parents are Not as Dear as the Party and Chairman Mao” and “Our Gratitude to the People’s Army”
        (nicked from Ha Jin).

  2. “anti-immigration right wing extremists”

    It’s interesting infuriating to constantly see this terminology used in the MSM. Any opposition to lunatic mass immigration or anything else on the fake left and big business (but I repeat myself) agenda is automatically labelled “extreme”. But how many times do you hear of left wing extremists? Or immigration extremists? Or open borders extremists? I would say never.

    So by deceptive use of emotive language their position is automatically seen as being centrist and moderate by definition, even if they are proposing bizarre and destructive nonsense.

    • Stewie GriffinMEMBER

      It is referred to as “Unthinging” reasonable dissent by removing the spectrum of views between the centre and the extremes.

      That is why the immigration debate stops with the LNP, then jumps over (and ignores all the reasonable middle ground eg Sustainable Australia) with the next stop being Pauline Hanson.

      That way the reasonable gets associated with the extremists and the entire debate or Overton Window is shifted in the direction that the progressive media desire.

      BTW – what is the html code to get the coloured quote box you use?


        Cheers H…beat me to it.

        I soooooo wish it was possible to discuss reasonable objections to mass immigration in this country without being referred to as a racist islamophobic right wing etc extremist.

        The irony is that I’ve always thought of myself as a Leftie. Left leaning parents, mostly voted Labor, always supported medicare, worker’s rights, social security for the unemployed, public education, government supported tertiary education…the whole nine yards. And now I’m viewed as extremist ratbag because I don’t like flooding the country with stupid violent idiots from third world hellholes, cheap labour from other hellholes etc etc ad bloody infinitum.

      • Stewie GriffinMEMBER

        The irony is that I’ve always thought of myself as a Leftie.


        Support a strong welfare net – check
        Support progressive taxation – check
        Support public education – check
        Support socialised medicine – check
        Support wealth tax (land tax) – check
        Support right of labor to organise – check
        Don’t support mass migration and the deliberate importation of competing people and cultural values – … YOU RACIST RIGHT WING BIGOT!!!

      • Jevons ghostMEMBER

        “I soooooo wish it was possible to discuss reasonable objections to mass immigration in this country without being referred to as a racist islamophobic right wing etc extremist.”

        Oh come on! Just tell the f wits that if that’s what you think then it’s your problem, not mine. Not worth wasting your breath on clowns and imbeciles.

        Sticks & stones…………

  3. HadronCollision

    F4ck that is scary to think about

    Glad I left.

    Might need a Cat B license fat lot of good it will do unless I was Bob Lee Swagger

  4. On the ABC story, I’d bet he’s involved as MI6 and GCHQ would know the truth, unless there is more to i,t and they want him gone for other reasons.

    The last two paragraphs…I’m not in on the joke, or is it? I searched and didn’t find any references on the facial recon and aircraft carriers.

    On Facial Recognition FR, how many councils with IoT FR systems (embedded in the street lights) are running, or Googles smart cities bulk surveillance. There is a rumour that there is one in NSW already.

      • Jevons ghostMEMBER

        Wonder what the rate of breast cancer will be down the track in female footie players. Contact sports like Australian Rules football ain’t for women. Just my opinion of course.

  5. A country dominated by snobs who divide everyone into bogan, native, vibrant or useful idiot does not deserve to be called a nation. The proles are the last possible hope, but they are happy to have jobs and sing the latest popular songs. They already love Big Brother and can’t wait to live in his house. So will you.