When I moved to Hellbourne from Sydney (oh, the regret) in 2009, after successfully selling The Diplomat in Japan on the eve of the GFC, I met the rulers of the incipient Grattan Institute to see if they might be worth my time.
It was a jarring experience.
My freewheeling intellect and entrepreneurial style clashed with their corporate values and recruitment. Nothing came of it.
The difference between them and me was pretty straightforward. They were joiners; I was not.
This distinction is one of the most useful in life.
Most people are joiners: more interested in the safety of numbers than the truth.
Fewer are non-joiners: truth-seekers because their DNA is allergic to bullshit.
It is the former that contains the seeds of authoritarianism, in all its shapes and colours.
It is the latter that are the first to be rounded and shot when the joiners get carried away, so it is not without its perils.
But I digress. I read an email from Grattan this morning with interest.
We are delighted to announce the Grattan Academy program for 2026.
We will be delivering courses in-person across the country, and online. You can enrol now.
Grattan Academy courses help lift your policy skills to the next level. We share our ingredients of success with you. Grattan Institute is renowned for its evidence-based policy analysis, strategic thinking, and effective communication, including data visualisation. These skills are essential for successfully influencing ministers, stakeholders, and the public.
Our courses are delivered by Grattan’s in-house experts, who speak from their experience in influencing policy at both the federal and state levels.
Allow me to rephrase the communications for this initiative so you can better understand what is being offered and whether it is for you.
Grattan Academy courses help lift your policy capture skills to the next level so that you can prosecute the interests of our corporate sponsors with gusto.
We share our ingredients of distorting policy with you. Grattan Institute is renowned for its corporate-based policy analysis, paid-for thinking, and propaganda, including cherry-picking data. These skills are essential for successfully influencing venal ministers, vested interests, and the public can go to hell.
Our courses are delivered by Grattan’s in-house experts, who have incredibly successful histories in guiding state and federal immigration and energy policies away from the national interest and towards corporate rentiers who will offer you a job once your tenure as a Grattan propagandist is done.
Apply now if you are a joiner!
