This is priceless. Rather than lower prices, the Coles and Woolies supergougers are stacking their shelves with political whores:
Besieged supermarket giant Woolworths has hired Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s former chief of staff Michael Choueifate to hold its hand during the looming examinations of its operations.
Rival Coles has recruited SEC Newgate Australia chairman Brian Tyson as its guide through the nine state and federal inquiries, reviews and probes into supermarket prices and practices under way.
…In-house, Jaimie Lovell leads Woolworths’ government relations and industrial affairs team. Ms Lovell worked in Mr Albanese’s ministerial office between 2011 and 2013 before jumping ship to the NSW government and NSW Farmers ahead of joining Westpac’s corporate affairs team in 2019.
…Other former political staffers on Woolies’ payroll include public policy manager Ryan Mahon, who worked for Industry Minister Ed Husic from 2016 to 2021, and senior manager of government relations, Liam Brennan, who worked for former attorney-general George Brandis from 2008 to 2017.
…At Coles, Mr Tyson served out his time in politics with six years as a press secretary for former NSW Liberal premier Nick Greiner in the 1990s, and Liberal planning and energy minister Robert Webster.
In-house, Sally Fielke leads Coles’ corporate affairs division. Ms Fielke is a former lawyer who started her legal career in Darwin before going on to lead the Australian Hotels Association’s NT and NSW branches. Before joining Coles, she spent seven years at Sydney Airport.
Adam Fitzgibbons, an adviser to deputy prime minister Warren Truss and Barnaby Joyce and another alumnus of Sydney Airport’s corporate affairs division, leads Coles’ public affairs efforts, while Jace Armstrong, formally of Virgin Australia and Amazon, heads up communications.
Flying under the supermarket radar, Metcash, the ASX-listed wholesaler to supermarket brands IGA and Foodland, has yet to hire external representation in Canberra.
In economics, this is what we call a (un)virtuous cycle.
Supermarkets gouge your arse off for years. When pollies finally pretend to care with NINE separate inquiries, they dump a truckload of super profits cash into the laps of former pollies soon-to-be current polly employers.
It’s a win-win-win for all concerned:
- Nine uncoordinated inquiries guarantee a bamboozled public.
- Nothing is done and superprofits continue.
- Pollies get to pretend they care.
- Then they get their retirement sinecure at a booming duopoly:
Seriously, what’s not to love?
