Always wash thoroughly after using shitcoin

Via FTAlphaville comes the cross-posted stinky truth:

You may have noticed that crypto disease is experiencing another outbreak. Warning signs are everywhere: scams are on the rise, Tether is being printed at the rate of $100m every 24 hours, and people are making ridiculous price predictions with rocket emojis again.

From Newsweek on Wednesday, under the headline: “CRYPTO, A FECAL PARASITE OFTEN SPREAD BY SWIMMING, IS CAUSING AN INCREASE IN ILLNESS OUTBREAKS, CDC SAYS” (emphasis ours):

Cryptosporidium infection (cryptosporidiosis) is an illness caused by tiny, cryptosporidium parasites that live in water. When the parasites enter your body, they travel to your small intestine and burrow into your intestinal walls. Later, the parasites are shed through your poop, says Mayo Clinic . . .

In most healthy people, Crypto produces a bout of diarrhoea, and the infection usually clears within two weeks. But if you have a compromised immune system, Crypto can be life-threatening without proper treatment. Other symptoms include stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting and fever.

That’s right. “Crypto” is short for cryptosporidium, and is a nasty fecal parasite that is often caught in public swimming pools (the master picture was not just gratuitous vulgarity). It causes not just diarrhoea, but also nausea (a symptom we have experienced) and fever (a symptom we have observed).

The CDC (the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) is having to put out a warning because “Crypto-related illnesses” are on the rise, and can sometimes cause death. (See Quadriga CX.)

Gives the term “shitcoins” a whole new nuance doesn’t it? Turns out that we’re not the only ones to have cottoned on to that, though. From crypto(currency) news site CCN:

Soz guys, too late. But we did already know about it. See here, from a December post in which we argued that the term “cryptoassets” is a misnomer:

Here at Alphaville, we often just call the market “crypto”, but unfortunately, that word is already kind of taken. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention had to put out a “Summer Kick-Off Reminder About Crypto” back in May, in which it warned that “crypto is the leading cause of waterborne disease in humans in the United States”. (Hat-tip David Gerard.)

It turns out, rather beautifully, that “crypto” is a parasite that can infect humans — both literally and figuratively. It is the word commonly given to the microscopic parasite Cryptosporidium, which can cause respiratory and gastrointestinal problems, and can be passed on via the stool of animals.

We were just waiting for another opportunity to write about it. And, now that crypto has had a massive dump, it felt right.

So let’s stop with all the Faecebook-coin [sic] mud-slinging, even if Libra does seem a bit crap. Clearly, what’s crucial here is that regulators take a scattergun approach. If they shove too much FUD down everyone’s throats, they’ll just end up provoking runs.

Houses and Holes

David Llewellyn-Smith is Chief Strategist at the MB Fund and MB Super. David is the founding publisher and editor of MacroBusiness and was the fouding publisher and global economy editor of The Diplomat, the Asia Pacific’s leading geo-politics and economics portal.

He is also a former gold trader and economic commentator at The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, the ABC and Business Spectator. He is the co-author of The Great Crash of 2008 with Ross Garnaut and was the editor of the second Garnaut Climate Change Review.

Comments

    • bskerr2MEMBER

      And it’s better to own sh1tcoins+gold than trust the debt bubble oz bankcrapcoin. Kevin Rudd once said one of the major 4 was going to need bailing out or something to that effect a number of years ago, he never said what bank but I doubt things are any better and there doesn’t seem to be consensus on depositors getting anything back in case of a crash. So what is more sh1t, in debt banks with all their dodgy dealing and vague depositors guarantees or something that’s globally recognized as something and not in bank or gov control. Maybe it pays to hold a bit of everything. I haven’t ever seen a royal enquiry into crypto but I have with banks, who do we trust more?

      • Crocodile Chuck

        ANZ has always been the weakest of its stablemates in credit.

        & it was the one APRA was most concerned with in Q4 2008 [‘Stress Tests’, anyone?]

      • Even StevenMEMBER

        Rudd doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Too many people on MB talk about bank failure as if it’s almost a sure thing.

        Don’t make the mistake of being pissed off with the general state of things and the amount of money banks have made; and because of this expect banks to fail. It would require a depression. And that’s even leaving aside government support.

        One thing I have learnt over the years is that credit creation is sort of analogous to injecting inflation into the economy. Once it’s there, it tends to stay there. The logic of ‘what goes up, must come down’ does not apply.

        So if you’re thinking ice creams from a corner store are going to revert back to their 1980s value of only 50 cents each, I think you will be sadly mistaken.

        Similarly property prices aren’t going to revert to their (pre-credit boom) values. Not to say they can’t go down heavily.

  1. DominicMEMBER

    While not a believer, mainly for fundamental reasons, the interesting thing to observe is people around the globe voluntarily using/adopting this alternative means of exchange / store of value.

    This is actually the way a market-based system works as compared with the State-sponsored monopoly that is ‘legal tender’. Monopolies invariably provide an opportunity for all sorts of mischief and most States oblige in spades.

      • DominicMEMBER

        There is speculating going on, for sure, but the price action and recent (lengthy) consolidation suggests there is more than speculating going on. Bear in mind that the bulk of speculators generally arrive late in the piece.

    • DominicMEMBER

      You mean, you’re a crypto fan and you’re offended?

      It’s okay – in a free world this is completely acceptable. Except the ‘being offended’ bit. Only snowflakes take offence.

      Just revel in the variety of views — it’s like multiculturalism, just without the huge bill (and fall in living standards) at the end of it.

  2. BubbleyMEMBER

    H&H has either been in the cherry brandy or hanging out with teenagers who are heavy on turd humor.

  3. you guys are losers, glad I pulled my membership when you post this trash.
    BTC outlook “lol shtcooin amairait>!>!”
    AUD outlook: “lulz the bobbing poo wont flush”

  4. bitcoin = Y2K bug… a non-event that my uncle made $300k from ‘fixing’ the profane’s ‘problem’.

  5. I call it LoLcoin because I mined all mine for free many years ago before anyone knew what it was. This gives me a stress free long. I could sell it and make a small fortune, but I make a small fortune through work, and that suits me fine.

    So whenever people get upset about it I just have a good LoL. I stick by what I said all those years ago, its final price will be somewhere between $0 and $56m in the end.

    Now if you guys are so sure it’s sh1t, and other people are always going to be drawn to it… Do I have to spell it out for you what your opportunities are? Hint, they’re neither short nor long. Just wait for 100% gains, take your initial investment and gamble on the ups and downs. Buy after a mega dip. Don’t try to pick the top. Sell at 100%.

    Anyone want to invest in my new Shiraz vineyards in Heathcote Victoria? This operation will literally use sh1t for its success. Can a Labor voting farmer spruik his crowd funding opportunity here? Lol. We’re all just a bunch of spruikers. We’ve all got something to sell.