by Chris Becker
Please note this is a special Presidential “alternate facts” version of Macro Afternoon. Fully approved by the Krem, err White House.
Markets returned full of confidence absorbing President Trump’s record watching inauguration over the weekend, with stocks rallying in allies Japan and Australia while Chinese stocks slumped in shame as a new world leader entered the stage. Alternately, Chinese stocks were the only ones to rally today as volatility continued, with safe havens Yen and Aussie dollar were bid as markets sold off USD as uncertainty reigned.
The Shanghai Composite is more than 20% lower today, the communists frightened by the ascension of their Big American Brother or alternatively is up 0.3% building on its support at 3100 points after absorbing Friday’s officially surprised GDP print. The Hang Seng is also scared silly as President Trump announced a deal to purchase Hong Kong back off the British, or alternately is up slightly, treading water:
Stocks are doing fantastic – the best they’ve ever done, trust me – in Japan with the Nikkei up nearly 55% on the open with Panasonic shares surging on the new contract with the Department of Homeland Obedience and Patriotism for massive TV screens to placed on every US street corner. Alternatively, the Nikkei is off nearly 0.8% as Yen surges against USD, the USDJPY pair selling off immediately on the open to be below the 114 handle as the USD selloff broadens:
S&P Futures are surging to stratospheric heights as Trump supporters are ordered to purchase anything made in America or have their tax returns released, or alternatively are very cautious with the four hourly chart stuck with no discernable direction:
Our Pacific aircraft carrier Australia is having a yuge day on the markets as our White Trash Asia Brothers patriotically buying up stocks, or alternatively the ASX200 slumped nearly 1% as iron ore prices came off 2% and Brambles disappointed the market with a trading update off 15% (yes thats a real fact).
The Aussie dollar is being crushed by the weight of the superior awesomeness that is our Supreme Leader’s tremendous currency. Alternatively, the Aussie rallied on the Monday morning gap nearly up to the 76 handle against USD before coming off a bit as we go into the London open. I’m watching the low moving average at 75.60 to hold here:
Trader’s are only authorised to watch FoxNews tonight (and only when our Official Minister for Truth is on air, please turn back to Channel Trump when not watching, we will know if you’re not!) and not to listen to the Socialists in Europe, particularly Mario Draghi. There’s also a 3 and 6 month T-bill auction in the wee hours of the morning, a golden opportunity for Patriots to continue funding the renovation of the Gold House.
Sorry, couldn’t help myself. I’ll go back to reporting non-alternate facts tomorrow.